Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize