that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize