I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
