I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
