If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
