She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
