my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
