when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
