margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
