Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
