hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
