Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
