i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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