she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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