I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It's just like the Real World with babies
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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