Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
