My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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