This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
