Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize