I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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