My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
