I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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