a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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