Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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