you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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