A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
