Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
