i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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