You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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