If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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