If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
only if we run a train.
done.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
