Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
