I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she peed on how many people?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
