I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
ttyl tear gas
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
