My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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