Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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