Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
