Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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