I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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