They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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