Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
