We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I need a beard to bite.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
