i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
