I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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