just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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