"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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