OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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