I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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