So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
