I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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