i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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