after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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