Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
