bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
