Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
