so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We need to get me chipped asap
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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