So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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