these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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