So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
