It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
