i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
