Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
