if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
