Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
